Jealousy Clouds the Mind
by anfiasco
Summary: Oneshot. Slight Thorki. Thor has returned with Loki to Asgard, where he keeps Loki to himself. Unable to keep quiet forever, Loki will eventually spill why he attacked Earth, along with deeper secrets. Bonding and angsty fluff. Stubborn!Loki is the best.


**A/N: Oneshot, set after The Avengers.  
****My style changed a bit writing this, the dialogue and text. I tried to be more formal. Cause. You know. IT'S GODS TALKING. I didn't go as far as to use 'thou' and 'hath', but it's…pretty different from what I usually write.  
****May I respectfully add, Thorki is WAY more canon than that Thor/"Natalie Portman's character" romance shiz. Thunderfrost has so much _angst _and perfectly miserable background plot. Listen to the song "Running Up That Hill" by Placebo, from Loki's perspective. You will have many sad Thorki feels. Please R&R so i can hear feedback! :)**

**.-.-.-.**

"Brother, your methods of getting my attention are worrying." Thor chuckled lightheartedly, giving his dear friend a small smile. Loki glared back in response, unable to speak due to the heavy mouthpiece he wore.

Thor had kept Loki to himself after returning to Asgard. No one had asked any questions on why. It was selfish, he knew, but Thor thought it was for the best. Odin hadn't commented on Loki's return, or in turn, his actions. His friends and his family noticed, however, the king's tight grip on the anger he felt from Loki's betrayal. Thor wouldn't let Odin near Loki, for his submerged anger might burst to the surface any moment. And for the others…well, the others didn't understand. They didn't know where Thor's love for the human world came from. 'They are so puny!' they would say. 'Earth is so _unusual_, Thor,' they would coax him, replacing a fouler word with a more polite one such as _unusual_. 'Why would you concern yourself with such a pitiful world?'.

Only Loki understood Thor's love for Earth.  
And the God of Mischief didn't like it.

"You are jealous, brother. That does not give you the right to attack Earth." Thor chided, getting up from where he sat on his bed. He walked to where Loki sat, chained to a small chair. "You are being very childish."

A look of annoyance passed over Loki's restricted features. He rolled his eyes, a habit picked up from that archer back on the human world. What was the warrior's name? It had something to do with an animal from that place. The creatures of Earth were so new to Thor. He didn't remember.

"I love the earth, brother. I've sworn to protect it, and all who dwell there. That does not mean I ever stopped loving you." The blonde's smile dropped a bit from his bright face, his eyes taking up a hint of sadness. Regret. Guilt for leaving Loki alone. The noirette looked away from Thor, shifting in his chair. His body language gave away what he was thinking.

_Thor, you forgot about me. You _outgrew _me. How can I trust what you say is verity?_ Loki's eyes sparkled with uncertainty.

The god of thunder felt his brother's insecurity. He slipped his hand through Loki's hair, meeting no resistance as Loki had no way to stop him.

"I never left you." Thor's voice was soft. He extended his hand down, to the soft skin of Loki's throat. Still, the younger pretended to pay no heed. Thor lifted his brother's chin, attempting to gain eye contact. When the silent request was again denied, Thor gave a mumble of submission. He reached around Loki's head, pressing lightly on a button connected to the mouthpiece. It clicked open, dropping to Loki's collarbone as the man gasped for fresh air.

"Loki? Are you all right, brother?" Thor asked, concerned. His hand still cradled his beloved's jawline.

Loki looked up, breathing heavily. His eyes flashed.

"I do not hold the title of your brother anymore, Thor." He pressed his lips tightly together. "In fact, I never did. I thought this matter was clear." He annunciated each word clearly, snarling his contempt. Thor blinked in surprise at the first words to leave his brother's mouth.

"You are dear to me." He remained complacent. Thor knelt in front of Loki, his hand sliding down to the other's chest. "I don't understand."

Loki flinched. Thor noticed, and Loki immediately regretted showing weakness. He possessed none of his armor. The armor he once wore so proudly was gone; he could not summon it, he could not protect himself. His helmet hid his thoughts, his metal guards concealed his heart and his emotions. His staff kept away those who would seek to uncover those truths. Loki was exposed to the world, and more importantly, his former brother.

"Tell me why you seek to rule the humans, Loki?" Thor asked.

"Why should I answer you?"

"I want to understand. Are you jealous, or not?"

"I meant to interject when you were saying that earlier." Loki's hands clenched where they were tied, behind his back. "But I was unable to speak, due to a certain device restricting me from doing so."

"I'm sorry." Thor said. Though he meant it, he was beginning to grow impatient. His brother was avoiding the subject at hand with ease. Thor clenched his rough hand into thick green silk. "Loki, answer me."

"I'm not interested in telling you such," he sniffed, tensing.

"Is it really that hard to just _tell me_?"

"If only." Loki scoffed. His gaze remained stoic, unyielding of emotion. "Unfortunately, it's not _hard _to tell you. You are so easy to talk to." Loki's eyes shifted uncomfortably. "If it were so, that I didn't want to tell you, I could use it as an excuse." Thor shook his head slightly, confused. "I can tell you. I want to tell you. I simply won't." Loki smiled widely, though it was obviously insincere. A faux representation of mischief that had supposedly corrupted his mind.

Loki was hurt, and Thor could see it clear as day. He wanted to understand _why. _

The chained man held onto his pride. He wanted to spill his heart out, he really did. But he wouldn't. Thor would listen, Loki knew. But he wouldn't understand. Of _course_ Thor would never realize Loki's feelings; Loki's true intentions.

Thor wanted to understand.  
Loki wanted him to.  
But it was too much of a risk for Loki to spill his secrets.

"Loki, let go of your foolish idea of pride and speak to me!" Thor growled. His grip on Loki's garment tightened.

"I don't have to," he scoffed.

"You WILL tell me, brother," Thor snarled, justly frustrated. "I _command_ you!" Loki flinched, a sudden fear flicking across his face. He looked quickly at the man at his feet.

"_TELL ME_!"

Thor was a vision Loki had not seen since back on the human realm. Bridled anger seeped through the cracks in Thor's shell, contaminating the air. Then, there was a sadness. A longing for the brother he once knew so well, to come back to him. The one he loved.

"Well, isn't this a familiar setting." Thor snarled, remembering his brother's betrayal. When Loki had demanded answers from the God of Thunder himself.

Loki opened his mouth to say something, but it caught in his throat. Instead, he gave a strangled breath, feeling the glare of Thor's anger. The authority in the air was suffocating him. He had the sudden urge to do whatever his brother wanted him to. But Thor...he wasn't his brother anymore. No. He had to keep reminding himself.

This was why Loki would never be king. Thor held a commanding presence that Loki would never have, no matter how hard the God of Mischief tried. A presence that shook you by the shoulders and grabbed you by the neck.

"I have already told you," Loki said, trying not to choke on his own words.

"What?" Thor growled, still holding back anger.

"I already TOLD you!" the chained man shouted. Thor jumped in surprise, still situated at Loki's feet. "I laid it out in front of you, clear as day, Thor!"

The God of Thunder frowned, both in confusion and in sadness. His brother was so distraught. The barrier that held Loki's emotions had broken, yet again. The wall shattered and reformed so quickly.

"It is your fault you won't listen! Y-you do not understand..." Loki turned away again as he knew he was about to cry. He hated when this happened. He hated it when Thor saw this weak, pathetic side of him. "I know you try to understand, but you do not."

"Then try me, yet again." Thor's voice had regained its sympathetic tone. He settled on his knees, apprehensive. "I promise I will try my best, brother. I am all yours."

"When you-" Loki stopped short, catching himself before he gave in completely. The god did not trust his tongue to say _No, Thor. Leave me be. _He decided to remain silent as to lessen the possibility.

Thor tilted his head, clearly waiting for his brother to continue.

An awkward moment passed where Loki stared at the wall to his right, avoiding Thor's eyes and refusing to speak yet again. The barrier was back.  
Thor exhaled sharply, done with their foolish dance around the conversation at hand. He stood, now towering over Loki. The chained figure glanced at him due to the sudden movement, and looked away again just as fast. Thor situated his hands on either side of his beloved's face, his weight sunk in so he was face to face with his brother, determined to get an answer out of the stubborn brat.

"Tell me." Thor spoke softly, with a diluted version of the aggression he had shown earlier.

Loki's pale green eyes met Thor's vibrant blue ones. A spark of emotion passed from one to the other.

Loki started to cry.

"I told you already, you pathetic oaf," he sobbed, unable to hide or wipe his tears away. They streamed down his cheeks. "I was _showing _you. All this time, I'd thought you would have realized by now."

"Shhh, it's all right, brother." Thor soothed, his right hand leaving its post to wipe his brother's tears away from his pale cheeks.

"When you recieved Mjolnir, I was proud of you. So proud. Everyone was." Loki smiled, sincere this time. But it soon flickered and was gone. "Then you left me behind. You did not need me anymore."

"I..." Thor started to retort, shocked, but decided better of it. Rather Loki finish than stop halfway.

"You did not mean to leave me, I know this. You would never hurt me out of spite." He shook his head a little, his eyes darkening. "But nevertheless I...changed. I hated that I needed you, I hated that I could not look after myself." Loki spoke faster now, tears occasionally leaking down his face. "I had the urge to prove I was worthy of being your brother, of being Odin's son. I needed to prove it to father, that I was indeed your equal. And when you took the opportunity to attack the Frost Giants, you were banished, and I was able to plan a way to prove my loyalty to him. Though...when I found out I was Laufey's son..." He paused. "I am a Frost Giant, Thor. The monsters that father told us stories about, as he tucked us in at night, when we were children. Even though father had lied to me, I still wanted to show him that I l-loved him." Tears. Thor tried his best to wipe them away.

"Loki, I feel your sorrow. I understand. But why...?"

"You left, Thor. But after you were banished, you were truly lost to me. You loved the Earth more than you loved your own..." he struggled to avoid the word 'brother', as it did not apply. "More than you loved your longest supporter, your longest friend."

"I never stopped loving you, my dear Loki." Thor whispered.

"You love everyone and everything that crosses your path! I am no different!" Loki shouted. "I thought... I supposed... if I destroyed Earth, if I ruled it, then I mi-ght get y-you back." His voice broke. "If there was no one else and nothing else to love, a-and I was the only one left...then I would have you again."

"Shh." The larger man enveloped his beloved brother in his arms, regardless of the chair and bonds that kept them apart. Thor held Loki until the poor man's sobs had descended into quiet sniffs against his shoulder.

"Now, you listen," he started. Loki nodded in submission, his head under Thor's chin.

"I love you, Loki, more than anyone else. Does that not sound familiar? I believe you said that once about myself."

"Y-yes."

"A moment has never passed in my life where I denied loving you. Not one moment, brother." Loki remained silent, blinking occasionally, face dry.

"Your actions were based off of raw emotion. You had personal reason to commit such wrongdoings, but..." Thor chuckled, hoping to lighten the mood, "...you carried it all a bit too far, do you not think so? Killing off entire races, that would never work."

No relply from his brother, besides a small shrug.

"I'm sorry I left you like that," Thor muttered, only audible due to their proximity. "I will never leave you again. Not ever, I promise you that, my dear Loki."

The man dressed in green smiled, a small laugh escaping his lips. Though the laugh caught in his throat, coming out more as a choked sob. Thor gripped him tighter, hoping to get rid of Loki's distraught emotions.

"Thank you." Loki whispered.

"I promise it." Thor's hands smoothed over Loki's cheeks one more time, permenantly disposing of both tears and sins alike. "I will love you forever; that was always a promise, though you seemed to have forgotten it," he smiled kindly.

"I love you as well, Thor." Loki returned the smile.  
Unable to hold the larger man embracing him, Loki settled with leaning forward, inches from Thor's face. He planted a soft kiss on the other's lips, closing his eyes nervously.

The God of Thunder expected as much. He smiled against the other's mouth, his hand snaking around to grip Loki's hair. Thor pressed him closer, though not hard enough to scare his brother away.

The kiss was sweet. It would have been innocent, had Loki not moaned into it. A deep, longing sound. This caught Thor by surprise.  
Loki broke away from Thor quickly, worried about what this meant. His brother's hand, however, stayed rooted in the silky locks of his hair.

Loki blushed visibly, his pale eyes flicking away yet again; denying everything.

"I-I'm sorry. It was... I didn't mean that," he said swiftly, covering his fresh tracks much like how a criminal covers his.

"Well, _I _certainly did." Thor kissed him again, pulling their lips together with a small twist of the hair he held between his hands. Loki's eyes were open, stunned by the aggresive action.

The two gods knew what had happened. Both knew the consequences of what they had done, and how the others would react.

It did not matter to them, as their bond meant more than anything in the universe.


End file.
